Because She Believed - A Story of Faith and Hope
Each of us have a vision of who God is to us. For me, He is not only The Father, He is my father. I often imagine sitting in my Father’s house in heaven. He and I are in His den by the fireplace. The intimacy I imagine in that scene brings peace to my heart as I reflect on Kristen’s life as her father. I see her life through her father’s eyes… through my perspective.
With our plans for the visitation and celebration service finalized, Julie and I tried to get a little rest. We had been running on empty for the last couple of days and needed to get our second wind. It was going to be a very long evening with lots of competing emotions, and we needed to be as rested as possible.
Not long after we had settled down for our intended nap, I began to reflect on what God wanted me to share at Kristen’s celebration service the following day. My spirit was much more at peace since I had seen the vision of Kristen sitting with Jesus as He wiped away any remnant of pain or sorrow from her time in this sin-filled world. He had given me the words to share, the words that had been left unspoken when she departed.
So, as I lay there, I was comforted by the reality of His intimate presence with Kristen and with us. I could imagine us all walking together with Jesus in the middle— Kristen in heaven holding His one hand and we here on earth holding His other. Walking with Jesus was no longer a vague biblical concept of some future hope; it was now a powerful and immediate reality. He is walking with us through His Spirit— right now, and He is walking with Kristen in heaven— right now. Kristen is not lost to us. She is as close to us as we are to Him. We are one body in Christ. Unity in Christ is relevant not only for the living church; it is the eternal reality of all believers past, present, and future. Time is not relevant to our relationship with Him and to our relationship with others who have called Him Lord. He is our reality. He is our everything. We are one in Him—right now!
“He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things” (Ephesians 4:10).
As I reflected on that beautiful picture of our spiritual reality, I felt God moving me to tell my story as Kristen’s father. He had given me her story to share, and now His Spirit was inspiring me to share mine. The following words poured forth as I lay there in fellowship with Him.
Through Her Father’s Eyes
She loved without measure,
And gave without care,
Of what was left over,
For her own burdens to bear.We struggled through our issues,
Through some trials and some pain,
But we soared on wings like eagles
And we danced in the rain.She took my heart from me,
And gave hers in return.
Our trials bring such sweet sorrow,
But through them, we learn.God told me of her story,
From the beginning to the end.
He said He would be with her,
Her everlasting friend.We fought over the ending,
His cup was much too hard.
I begged He find another way,
That wouldn’t leave me scarred.He said it will be costly,
As sin has always been.
My Son gave His all,
And my servant is not above Him.There is no greater love,
Than to give your life for a friend.
And Kristen would have said,
Dad, let this be my end.You know it’s only the beginning,
Of my eternity with our Lord.
He will bind up all my hurts,
And loose this earthly cord.In Christ, nothing is wasted,
No pain without relief,
No sorrow without joy,
No heartache without peace.
Needless to say, these words were written through tears: tears of joy and not of sorrow, tears of love and not of sadness, tears of hope and not of loss, tears of peace and purpose, tears for the future we will all share in Him, and tears as He reminded me that in Him that future is now. She is just on the other side of Jesus. All is well!
I had lain down to rest my weary body, but God renewed my weary soul. He is our center. We all converge in Him. Kristen is still with us because we are with Him.
God shared with me the following perspective. It is Kristen’s reality in Him.
Death has no power over me. I have not ceased to exist. I have just moved into my new home with Jesus. I am still alive. I am actually more alive now than I have ever been. I am still me. My spirit lives on even though my body has been laid to rest. When you speak of me, speak of the joy we shared and still do share. Don’t let sorrow distort your thoughts of me. We continue just as we always have.
When you hold tight to Jesus, you are holding tight to me. He has promised that we are all one in Him. Call out my name without sorrow or bitterness. Talk to me in our familiar way. Let His Spirit carry our words. You may not see my face or hear my voice, but you will know that I am here. Jesus is our common thread. He binds us all together. Don’t fear the loss of anything we held dear. He is our Rock, our Savior, and in Him, we are always near.
After such an intimate time of refreshing and renewal, I was excited for the opportunity to share God’s perspective with our friends and family during Kristen’s upcoming visitation and celebration service. I looked forward to giving from the overflow of His grace.
I spoke with Julie after her nap and shared with her the words God had given during my time of rest. He was bringing together the story of Kristen’s life to express the intimacy He had with her, the intimacy we had witnessed when God sent a personal physician to a small island in the middle of the Pacific to care for her the very first day she was with us.
Jesus tells us in Acts 1:8, just before He ascended into heaven, that we are to be His witnesses in the world. We don’t need to be biblical scholars or hold a pastoral degree to share with others the grace that God has poured out to those of us who have believed. That is what it means to be His witness. By faith, we live our lives according to His Word and His Spirit. By faith, our lives are living testimonies of His grace and mercy.
A tribute to God’s mercy and grace was unfolding through the words He was giving for Kristen’s celebration service. The words of “Kristen’s Story” were a testimony of God’s grace in her life. Now He had brought to mind the beautiful testimony of that same grace in my life, as her father.
Julie, the girls (Grace, Jana, and Brooke), and I finished getting ready and prepared to leave for the funeral home. We wanted to have some time there with family before we closed the casket and started receiving our guests. When we arrived, we went in to see Kristen’s body. We mourned the loss of her physical presence with us but rejoiced that her spirit was at home with her Lord. We all hugged and cried and laughed and told stories. We celebrated a life well lived… a life inspired by faith.
We had decided to play Kristen’s graduation video on a loop for the visitation. It was a celebration of her life, her trials, and her triumphs. There was no better way to honor her life than to let it be her witness to the world of a faith that overcomes… even death. None of us would have imagined that she would be gone from us less than a year after her graduation. We can never take tomorrow for granted. We must do all that is in our power to make wrong things right today. Life is fragile, and we need always to be ready… if tomorrow never comes!
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” (1 John 5:4-5).
We had a wonderful visitation service. The outpouring of love and support was amazing. So many unexpected guests came through the line. God blessed us with the grace and strength to share our faith and His glory with those who came to honor Kristen’s life. Our hearts were so filled with joy and peace that we could not help but share these blessings with everyone we saw. God was continually renewing our conviction that Kristen was with Him and all was well. She was home where she belonged. She was home with her Jesus… and we rejoiced!
The desire of my heart was to minister to our friends and family. We wanted this time to remain focused on the grace of God and Kristen’s eternity with Him. We were so tremendously blessed, and we wanted everyone to experience that same blessing.
“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:26).
-Julie
After a long and beautiful evening with family and friends, we were once again back home in our refuge of relative quiet. It is amazing to me how our spirit can be so refreshed in the Lord while our bodies are near exhaustion. That is exactly where we were at this time. We had to reconcile the two realities if we were to get the physical rest we needed. It seemed a little odd that night to be praying for a little less of a spiritual high. Every time I had attempted to quiet my mind and rest, my spirit would soar to new heights in Him. Eventually, my body had its say, and I succumbed to sleep.
