Because She Believed - Chapter 12 - The God I Know

Yes, my story may seem incredible to you. You may be wondering why anyone would want to know the God that took me through two months of trial and struggle, only to end that season of testing with the death of my child. Some may believe my experience is a delusion or even a lie. Others may pity me as a confused soul. A few may even accuse me of desiring status or seeking attention. Regardless of anyone’s doubts, His love compels me to tell of His grace and intimacy in my life.

God’s Word gives us many examples of His miraculous grace, and we have seen the human response. Can you imagine yourself saying: “Who is this Jesus? Nothing good comes out of Nazareth”; or “Isn’t that Paul, the persecutor of the church? He can’t be used of God”; or “Who is this harlot who comes to us from fetching water, only to tell us to believe in this stranger?” or “Why should we follow this man, David, as king? We heard what he did to Uriah after he took his wife”; or “Who are these fishermen who dare speak to us as if we are lost souls? They dine with tax collectors and prostitutes, no less.”

You may be thinking; Why should I listen to this man? He came from a broken and abusive home. He lived on the street after his father died and his mother left. He isn’t anyone of consequence. He almost died on an electrical tower. He had to start over like a child and learn to talk and walk again. He couldn’t even feed himself. Look at him now; he is scarred and weak.

God even allowed his family to lose everything after they followed Him to serve in the Pacific Islands. God didn’t even tell his family where they were going, but they went anyway because God said go. This man walks by blind faith. (More like bad luck, if you ask me). How can this person be blessed by God? He lost his health as a youth. He wasn’t able to “father” his own children. He lost all his earthly wealth— twice.

And then he crawled up out of the dust of defeat to continue to pursue his God. Now he has lost his daughter because he listened to God and set her free. What an incredible story. He is to be pitied. Is this a faith you would want to emulate? Is this man’s God worthy of honor and praise?

A friend once commented about some similarities between my life and that of Job’s in the Bible. I wouldn’t say I’ve experienced anything close to Job’s struggle, but I do believe we all will experience trials if we choose to follow where God leads. The confidence we have as His children is that He provides the measure of grace we need for every struggle that comes our way. The following Scriptures may help us understand God’s perspective regarding our trials.

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).

This world is not our home. The world hates us because it hated our Lord first!

“Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12).

Somewhere along the way, many have substituted steadfast faith in God for a warm and fuzzy, Sunday morning, I’m okay/you’re okay, lukewarm religion of comfort and peace—a religion that embraces friendship with a world that hates the God of the Bible, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of Israel. When did the switch happen? When was the counterfeit crowned as king? Was it a sleight of hand or sleight of heart? The counterfeit promises peace but brings only death.

What is the source of the faith that dominates much of what we call church today? When did we sacrifice the Spirit spoken of in God’s Word, the Spirit that is the source of all our being, the Spirit that comforts and guides us into all truth? When did we sacrifice God’s Spirit on the altar of our complacency and convenience? When did we substitute faith for folly and conviction for comfort? When did we choose worldly status over our steadfast love for the Father? We have become lukewarm and left our first love.

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-14).

Who am I? I am no one significant. I am only dust. But my God is everything, and I have been adopted as His child. In Him, by Him, and through Him, I am victorious.

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God” (Psalms 20:7).

A good sentiment, but do we really trust God? Every morning when I leave to go to work, I tell God that I am committing all that I have to His care. And all means all. Trust me, I know!

When I asked God to remove this cup from me, He replied,

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.” (John 15:18-20)

When God told me to give my daughter her wings and set her free, I had a choice to make. I could hold on tighter and try to protect her by my strength, or I could trust God to work all things together for good. I won’t pretend I didn’t struggle with God for a time. My flesh cried out against the vision He had shared with me. It is only by His grace through faith that I was able to do what He asked and give my daughter her wings.

When was the last time you were touched by God’s Spirit? Not the feeling of joy you felt while watching your child play or the emotion you felt listening to an inspiring song on the radio (those are good and necessary), but I’m talking about the Spirit that is described in God’s Word, the Spirit that is spoken of by the disciples—that profound presence that comforts our soul and drives out all fear, pain, sorrow, and temptation and covers us in His glory, the glory of the one and only God and Father of us all. I am not talking about a mealy-mouthed, watered-down, limp-noodle kind of experience, but a life-changing, awe-inspiring, intimate time with God through His Spirit.

Many believers are too comfortable to care. Others are too complacent to bother. And even more are too distracted to notice. God is a God of peace, order, and comfort, not because of our status or circumstances but in spite of them. If we can do what we do without Him, then is what we do actually from Him?

We need to trust God and not our own strength or our own wisdom. I don’t feel the necessity to create a doctrine to comfort myself regarding children who have died, or people who have never heard the gospel of the New Testament, or dozens of other unanswered questions. I have an unwavering faith in the goodness of God, in the One who has the answers. He does not owe me an explanation regarding the things He has given by faith.

Where is the grandeur and majesty of God in our religious experience? These attributes are not lost, but they are hidden. They’re hidden from the casual observer. They are buried in the essence of His intimacy and the gentle touch of His Spirit as we draw close to Him through prayer. They are not found in the fancy robes or the long-winded, superlative-laden speeches. They are not found in the grand production or the professional musical performance. They exist in the humble, pray-without-ceasing, Spirit-to-spirit, hand-in-hand, heart-transforming communion with God.

With the former, the reward is usually immediate and temporary in nature. We win the admiration of other people. The latter is personal and more subtle. It requires patience as we are growing our trust and dependency with the Father, one conversation at a time. The reward is an intimacy beyond our human understanding.

In this world, we often treat Jesus, our sure foundation, like a fairy tale. He is relegated to bedtime stories and Sunday school lessons. Many treat the Spirit of God more like a genie in a bottle than an intimate friend and guide.

When did our 401k become our security? When did we transfer our trust from God to our bank account? Why do we ignore God’s will if it does not match up with our portfolio goals?

A grand deception in America has been the substitution of the security of government for the security of our faith. The Enemy has no need to defeat us or our God when we willingly surrender to the counterfeit.

The Enemy is cunning. He offers a counterfeit god— “government.” He offers a counterfeit security— “wealth.” He offers a counterfeit peace—“complacency.” He offers one counterfeit after the other, and many are led astray.

“And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds” (2 Corinthians 11:14-15).

I believe this is why a lot of people reject the “Good News” when they hear it today. Religion has corrupted the purity of God’s truth. Man has taken God’s message of love and grace and packaged it so that it conforms to the smallness of our human perspective. The God I knew as a boy, as I lay in the woods observing His reflection in His creation, is not the God that I found in organized religion. Creation cried out to me, proclaiming the glory of the Creator, while religion attempted to put God in a box that conformed to the traditions of men.

Many who do believe still appear to approach God as a distant overseer who is only vaguely concerned with our lives. Many words are spoken regarding the Holy Spirit, but His intimacy is rarely acknowledged or celebrated. The common religious experience bears little resemblance to the living, breathing, vibrant Creator described in His Word. The God I met as a kid is much bigger, more vivid, and more intimate than the one I found portrayed through man’s religion.

Can you imagine anyone paying as extravagant a price as God did to redeem us, then turning away to let us sink or swim in our own wisdom and strength? God gave His Son as an investment in our future. He left His Spirit as a down payment on our eternity with Him. He redeemed us at great personal cost. Why would we imagine that He is not intimately involved with us now? Do you believe He is an unwise steward who would be unconcerned regarding such a costly investment?

God wants to be intimate with us. We must break free of the religious chains that hold us back from experiencing the fullness of our inheritance in Christ.

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:16-18).

We have been set free from the bondage of sin. We are no longer slaves to the desires of our flesh.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).

Live out your faith in intimate fellowship with God! Listen as His Spirit speaks to you. Follow where He leads. Draw near to Him and abide in His Son, Jesus. Therein rests a peace that surpasses our earthly understanding and a joy that gives us strength in the midst of the storms of this life.

“There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:4-6).

You can know God, the Father, today through faith in Jesus, His Son… Just ask!

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).

The Gospel of Jesus is an invitation to more than everlasting life; it is an invitation to intimacy with God through His Spirit here and now!

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish…” (John 10:27-28).

God sent His Son to die so we would have the opportunity to become His children. That is AMAZING grace!

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32).

Several weeks after Kristen went home to heaven, God blessed me with this picture as I was walking after work one evening. This “Kristen peeking through the clouds” image was a sweet reminder that she is with Jesus and all is well!

Kristen in the Clouds